Tuesday morning

Thursday morning spent wishing. And why do I always go on investigative-journalism-style searches on the Internet and why do I always find things that distress me? And why do I never ever talk what I think, but always think what I talk first? And why can I never commit myself to a community, without feeling the fear of cooptation? And why is it that days when I wake up happy, I spend semi-sad? And days that I wake up resolving a conflict I spend semi-ok? And why did days become longer now and spring is here again and all I can think of saying or doing or dreaming is something that I never say or do or dream at the right time? And why do I love so much it feels like burning? And why am I still waking up at 16:17?